A Canadian's Love Song
by Commanows
Summary: Based off of the online musical "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog", Matthew Williams is a trying to get into the Evil League of Evil. But, there's only two things stopping him: His crush, Sally, and his nemeses, Captain Hero!
1. The First Step

Small Matthew Williams sat in front of a computer staring into a small web camera. Laughing as evilly as he could, which wasn't as evil, but as a deep laugh, with a small smirk on his face. He, abruptly, stopped and started to hack up a lung. He sighed and blushed as he looked back up to the camera, "I-I was working with a vocal coach… Strengthening the… Ha ha ha's... I think it's really important to get the evil laugh down, but some guys just ignore the laugh. I mean, if you're trying to get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorial laugh! Don't you thing Bad Ivan worked on his giggle? Terrible, death filled, giggle…"

Matthew swallows, again, and looked around his desk area. "No response, BTW, from the League, yet… But, I think my application is strong! … Fingers crossed…?" he raised his right hand, crossing his white gloved index and middle finger, "Umm…" he looked down to a small stack of papers and lifted them up into the view of the camera, "How about some e-mails? … 2Sly4U writes: "_Hey genius!_" Sarcasm, how original… "_Where are the gold bars you were suppose to pull out of that bank vault with that Trans-matter ray of yours? Obviously it didn't work, or it'd be in the papers_!" No, that's not true."

Matthew sighed and lowered the papers to his lap, "They wouldn't say anything in the press, but," he reached over to the edge of his desk and brought a plastic bag filled with a brown, sludgy, liquid, "transported from there, to here!" He turned his head to look and it and poked it a few times, "The molecules kind of… Shifted during the transport…" he mumbled something before setting the bag back to its rightful place, "But it was transported in bar form- You know, it isn't about making money! It's about _taking_ money! Destroying the status quo! Because the status is not… Quo… The World's a big mess and... I…. Need to rule it… Anyway, the Freeze-Ray is all most done! This is the one. Stops time, Freeze-Ray, tell your friends."

Matthew took the papers out of his lap and skimmed through them, slightly, "Oh!" he turned to the camera with a wide grin, "Here's one, from my good friend, the Cuban Crusader" he smiles and returned to looking at the paper, "_Captain Hero_-Oh! Not again!" he yelled with an irritated sigh. "For the last time, I. Am. Not. Captain Hero! He's my nemeses! Crusader, I'm Dr. Horrible. Hor. Ri. Ble!" he sighed, took off his glasses, and began to rub his temples. "I thought we were friends, eh? We go and eat frozen yogurt on weekends, but you still can't recognize me? You see, Captain Hero dislocated my shoulder… Again… Last week…. Look, I'm just trying to change the world! Why can't you, at least, try and help me?"

"I-I'm sorry, eh, let's move on…" Matthew picked up the discarded papers, "Here's one from… DeadKnotSleeping: "_Long time watcher, fist time writing_," Um." He skimmed through it, "_You all ways say in your blog that you will show her the way. Show her you are a true villain. Who is 'her'? And_…_ Does she even know that you_…" Uh…" Matthew looked in between the paper and the camera with his mouth a gap. He set down his papers and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it to a thin line and looked to his knees.

"_It's all ways on laundry day, I see you there. You let your undergarments tumble in the wash. I'd love to say I love your hair, but I'm too shy. All I do is mumble. I know that with my Freeze-Ray I will stop the World and I'll find the time to find those words so I can say how I feel. Like, how you make me feel: Like a fool, a little sick, special needs…? Um… I will stop the pain with my Freeze-Ray. It's not a Death-Ray, no. That's all the Cuban Crusader's area of work. Please, I think you need time to know that, I'm that guy to make those feelings real. Those feelings you don't dare to feel. I'll have the world bend to out will, and we'll make time stand still! Yeah, that's the plan! Us ruling the world!_ I love your hair." "What?" a female's voice said, "Oh, I love the air, eh? Heh…_With this Freeze-Ray I shall stop-_"


	2. The Henchman and Letter

Author's notes: Sorry that these chapters are really short and all... I could of done this whole thing in two chapeters, but that would of been no fun at all! ... Well, I hope you enjoy reading this~

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"_With this Freeze-Ray I shall stop-_"

The front door opened and slammed shut, "Hey there Doc!" the small, energetic, boy said as he bounced into the room with a smile, that could meld ice, on his face. "Oh!" Matthew turned off his web camera and turned to face him, "Liquid Peter! My evil, moisture, buddy… What's going on?" he asked as he got up and walked over to the boy. Peter was wearing a light blue sweat shirt, white shorts, and a pair of tennis shoes. All most every inch of the sweat shirt was wet, or damp. On his blond bob of hair sat a blue sailor cap.

"Got your mail, for ya!" he said as he shoved the wet letters into Matthew's hands. Matthew picked up the top one and tried to decipher its smudged letters. "Hey, didn't you go on some kind of date last night?" Peter's face flushed and nodded, "The Lithuanian Wonder said you were sot out to catch than Latvian in town!" Peter's face became a deeper shade of red, "So, how'd that go?" Matthew asked as he looked up from the letters. "It was all right… He's kind a shy, though. Not very talkative, either, but he seemed to have fun." Peter said as he sat down on a near by couch and he flashed another smile, face still pink from the thought.

"I saw Sally today…" Matthew said as he adjusted his glasses and a pink tint hit his cheeks. "Did you talk to her yet?!" Peter all most yelled as he was on the edge of his seat, staring at Matthew intently. "So close…" Matthew whispered with a shake of his head, "I'm only a few weeks away from a real, audible, word to her… I'm going to ask-" Matthew stopped at his eyes read the front of one of the letters. He looked to Peter and back and started to rip open the letter, "Maple!" Matthew nearly squeaked.

"Is it from…? The League?" Peter asked as he rose from his seat. Matthew looked at the waxed sealed letter, "It from _him_!" he raised up the letter to show him, "That's his seal! Isn't it? The same that the Soviet Union used, so long ago, right?" Matthew asked, a bit frantically. "The Leader. The-Oh my God." Peter was at lose of words at he stared at the letter. "I got a letter from Bad Ivan. Bad Ivan!" Matthew said as he looked at the letter with his blue-violet eyes, full of excitement. "Wow, that's so cool! Bad Ivan is legend! He rules the League with an iron pipe! Are you sure-?"

Matthew opened the letter and began to read it. He pushed out Peter's words from his head and only focused on the letter. It read:

"_Young evil doer. It has come to my attention that you want to get into my League, da? I read over your résumé and, I must say, that I am impressed, but you're just not there yet. I see a lot of potential in you, da! So, I want you to do something for me! All I want you to do is either show an act of force, a really bad crime, or, of course my favorite, murder some one innocent! I will be watching you, from the moment you read this. I will be grading you and this will be your last one! You make me happy, da? You will, or I'll make sure you can't even get on the henchman list!_

_Best of luck,_

_Bad Ivan~"_

Without Matthew noticing, Peter snuck up behind him and was reading over his shoulder, "Well… It isn't a no!" he said, happily, as Matthew folded the letter back up. "Are-Are you kidding? This is great! I'm about to pull a major heist!" he was pacing and stopped to look at Peter, "You know that Wonderflownium I need for the Freeze-Ray?" he didn't even allow Peter to answer before he looked forward and continued, "It's being transported tomorrow" Peter sighed, "Armored car?" he asked with a slight frown. Matthew shook his head, "Currier van! Candy from a baby." A smirk appeared on his face.

"Do-Do you need anything dampened, or-or made soggy?" Peter asked as he held up his hands. Matthew smiled at him, "No thanks. The League is watching." He turned and looked out a window. The gentle breeze of the high apartment building swept past them. "I have to do this alone…"


	3. Begining the Heist and the Encounter

A small girl, with tanned skin, stood on the side walk with a small stack of papers in her hands. Her long dark hair was tied into two loose pig tails, with red ribbon, that rested on her shoulders. Her light blue dress, with fish print, swayed in the breeze. She had a large, inviting, smile on her face. Her name was Sally; she flew all the way out here, from the small island of Seychelles, to help her homeless mother. She passed on, not to long ago, but she stayed here and continued to try and help.

She held out the papers to anyone who passed her, "Would you care to lend a helping hand, for the shelters that are closing? For the people, down and lost. They don't have a home, so we're trying to help them." She continued to offer, but no one would stop. "You only have to sign your name; you don't even have to read it… You? No. What about, no." a frown settled on her lips as she sighed and looked to the ground.

Matthew Williams sneaked down an alley way with a black duffle bag in hand. He looked over his shoulder a few times, seeing if someone was there. He was dressed in a red sweat shirt and baggy jeans. As a black van pulled to a stop, just a ways out of the alley, Matthew ducked behind a few trash cans and opened his bag. He made quick work of it and pulled out a pair of binoculars.

Looking into the object, Matthew could see one man, in uniform, get out of the van and walk inside a building. A smirk appeared on his lips as he set down the binoculars and dug through the bag, again. This time he pulled out a black, dull, cylinder. Without moving from his spot, he threw the object and it connected itself, with the van, with a metallic **_CLANK_**.

Matthew looked back a few times, again; to make sure no one was coming and got out a I-phone looking devise from a small compartment in the bag. He tapped a few times on its screen until there was a beep. He looked up to the van and a small, red, light started to flash on the cylinder. He rose and began to type codes into the devise. The engine started after a few second and he smirked.

"Would you lend a caring han-" Matthew jumped and squeaked. He turned around and began to studded, slightly. "What?" he finally managed to get out. His face flushed, deep, as he saw who was standing there. Sally looked down to her papers, "Um, I was wondering if I-I could just-" she was looking between him and her papers, when she finally smiled up to him, "Hey! I know you," she said with a slight giggle.

Matthew tired to stop his blush, "Hello. Hey, you know me, great! I mean-Yeah, you do… Do you?" he tilted his head slightly as he looked between her and the phone. "Yeah, from the laud-o-mat!" Matthew nodded, "Wednesdays and Saturdays, except twice last month you skipped the weekend-if that was you, I mean… I've seen you... Matthew, is my name…" "I'm Sally!" she said as she extended her hand to him. Matthew bit his lip and typed in more code into the devise.

"Uh, what are you doing?" she asked as she retrieved her hand. "I-I'm texting. It's very important, or I would stop… What are you doing?" Sally smiled, "Actually, I'm out here volunteering for the Helpless Hands Homing Shelter. Could you spare a minute?" she asked with a smile. Matthew looked behind his shoulder and his eye began to twitch, "Um…" he closed his eyes, thought for a second and turned back to her, "Yeah, sure, go." He said as he swallowed a lump in his throat. "Ok! We're hopping to open a new shelter, and help the ones that are closing. There's this great building near by that the city is just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot. But! If we get enough signatures," "Signatures?" "… Yeah." "Oh, I'm sorry. Go on." "I was saying, maybe we could get the city to donate the building to out cause. You'd be able to provide two hundred and fifty new beds, get people off the street,"

Matthew looked behind his shoulder, again, "and into job training, so they could... Buy… Rocket packs and go to the moon and." Sally sighed as Matthew was now facing the other way and proceeded to type into the little devise, "You're not very interested in the homeless, are you?" Matthew turned back around and shook his head, "No-No, I am… But, they're a symptom. You're treating a symptom. And the diesis rages on… Consuming the human race! The fish rots from the head, as my Papa Francis used to say, so why not just cut off the head?" Sally blinked a few times, "Cut off the head of the human race?" she asked in confusion. Matthew bit his lip; again, "I-It's not a perfect metaphor… But I'm talking about an overhaul of the system, putting the power into different hands…" Sally smiled, "I'm all for that! … This petition is about the building." "I'd love to sign." "Thank you!"

Sally smiled warmly as she moved towards Matthew. He blushed rubbed against him, slightly. He quickly signed his name, "S-Sorry, I-I come on strong…" Sally smiled and shook her head, "Its fine." Matthew chuckled nervously, "Can't turn my back on a fellow… Laundry... Person…" Sally smiled, "Well if we can't stick together…" Matthew's devise beeped a few times and turned the other way, right as the man in uniform walked back out with a black suitcase. "I'll probably see you there…" Sally said. She sighed and began to walk away.

Matthew was trying to get a better look at the case, "No-No, I will." He turned to see her walking away, out of hearing range. He let out an irritated sigh, picked up the duffle bag, and walked across the alley. Before he entered a small entrance to a closed off building he turned to look back to where she was, "She talked to me…" he said with a smile, but soon faded into a look of distress, "Why did she talk to me now?"


	4. What Does a Man Have to do?

Matthew sighed, again, "Maybe I should…" He just closed his eyes and thought for a moment.

"_A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, eh? You couldn't plan a plan that you couldn't follow though. All that mattered is taking matters into my own hands!_"

Matthew walked into the small opening and changes, with lightning speed, into a white dentist-looking coat-thing, white pants, white boots and gloves. A pair of goggles adorned his head and his blond curl bounced as he stood back up. He pressed one button on the devise,

"_Soon I'll control everything._"

The van began to accelerate down the street. The man, who was driving it, yelled after the vehicle, thinking someone was in it.

"_My wish is your command._"

His train of thought was cut off as boots met the top of the car. "Just stand back every one; there ain't nothin' here to see! There's just all this danger and, well, in the middle of it me! Yep, Captain Hero's here, and his hair's blowing in the breeze!" The American yelled out as he ran a hand through his blonde hair. He was wearing a black shirt with small American flag placed dead center in the middle of his chest. He, also, wore a pair of black pants, boots, and wrist high gloves. His shirt was, practically, skin tight, reveling his toned chest and arms.

"Well, it looks like the day need's a hero's saving!" Captain Hero, or, to his close friends, Alfred Jones, said as he knelt down and punched in the cylinder. He quickly looked up to the sky, "A man has to do what a man has to do!" he hopped off and landed near a woman and started to flirt with her, "It seems destiny ends with me, a hero, savin' you, you beautiful lady."

In the mean time, Matthew was frantically pressing a button, trying to make the van stop. It turned a corner and barley missed an elderly woman.

"The only doom that is loomin' around is that you're lovin' me to death!"

Sally turned around as she heard a scream and saw the van heading strain for her. She was a deer caught in the head lights, all she did was stare. Alfred hopped, out of no where next to her, and 'gracefully' pushed her aside, which proceeded in her falling in a large pile of garbage.

At the last moment, Matthew made connection with the cylinder and made the van break right before it made contact with Alfred's out reached hands. "You idiot!" Matthew called out as he ran out from the covered area. Alfred looked up from the truck, "Dr. Horrible! I should of known that you were behind this!" "You all most killed her!" Matthew butted in racing up to him, "If she-" he was cut off by Alfred choking him, with one hand. "It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible…. Lacy. Gently. Wafting. Curtains…." He looked up to the sky for a moment.

"Thank you, Hero Man, I don't think I can explain how important it was that you stopped the van!" Sally said as she got herself untangled from the garbage. Alfred smiled and turned to her, while hitting Matthew's head onto the van's hood. "I would have been splattered, crushed into debris!" Matthew's head made contact with the van's hood once more, "Thank you, sir, for saving me!" Sally said as she looked up to the taller man, now that she regained her balance.

"Don't worry 'bout it!" Alfred pushed Matthew away, "A man has to do what a man has to do!" Matthew was slumped and was hanging onto the car door. "You-You came from above!" Sally said happily. Matthew looked over his shoulder to them, "Are you kidding?" he asked, but not noticed by the two.

"It seems destiny ends with me savin' you!" Alfred said with a smirk. "I wonder what you're Captain of." Sally inquired as her eyes glistened with joy. Matthew's mouth hung a gap, again, "What heist were you watching?!" Alfred did a double take as he smiled back at Sally. "Stop looking her like that!" Matthew spat.

"When you're the best, you just blow through the rest." Alfred said as he stepped closer to the small girl. "Did-Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?!" Matthew asked as he rounded to the back of the van. "My heart is beating like a drum." Sally said to herself as she placed her hand on her chest. "When there's ass that need's kicking, some tickin' bomb to defuse." Alfred said as he shot a heroic looking pose.

"I stopped the van! The remote control was in my hand!" Matthew said from inside the van as he looked out the front widow to them. "It-It must be the shock." Sally said as she put a hand to her cheek. "The only doom that's loomin' is that you're not lovin' me to death." "Assuming I'm not loving you to death." They said as they looked each other in the eyes. "What-eve-er!" Matthew said as he rolled his eye and got out of the van.

"So, would you give me a sec to catch my breath?" they said in unison as Alfred stroked a hair out of her face. Matthew made a noise of displeasure and started to run away from the van, "Balls."


	5. The Stalking and the LaundOMat!

Matthew looked into the web camera unable to say anything. He couldn't believe what he heard about his Sally and that evil Captain Hero! He's heart broken, to say the least, the love of his life just scadoodled off with the one person he hates. How would that make you feel, knowing the person you love doesn't love you back?

Matthew was on the brink of tears and he quickly shut off the camera. Taking off his evil doing uniform and putting on casual clothes, he raced out of his apartment, not really knowing where he was heading.

"Any dolt with half a brain can see that the human kind has taken a turn down the wrong road! People are going insane! They aren't seeing what's actually happening! I guess they wouldn't even know, if I was trying to upset the status quo, if I threw poison in the water main!" he ranted as he walked down a lit street. He turned his head and a scowl played his lips.

"The hearts of the people are breaking. It's like they're mind slaves to who ever is the most powerful. There hopes and dreams are shattering apart, by this! They're practically crashing to the ground!"

He looked in a near by window to a restaurant and disgust over took him. "I can not believe my eyes. This world, it's filled with lies and filth. But I guess that it's plain to see that the evil inside of me is on the rise…" he said as he backed away into the darkness.

Alfred and Sally were sitting in a small restaurant eating, what looked like, clam chowder. The homeless were sitting at the other tables around them, enjoying their hot meal. "Look around, can't you see that we're living in the lost and found. It like when you feel you've all most drown, but you find yourself on solid ground." Sally said to Captain Hero as she got up from her seat. "You'll believe that there's good in everyone's heart, you keep that safe and sound." She smiled to an elderly woman and patted her shoulder, reassuringly, "With that hope, we can do our part," she grabbed a few napkins and returned to her seat, "to turn, at least one, life around. I can't believe my eyes; the world's finally growing a heart. 'Cause it seems to me, that there's some kind of harmony on the rise."

Matthew hid behind a near by, fake, bush as Alfred and Sally were conversing on a park bench. "Anyone with half a brain can spend there whole life howling in their misery." Matthew muttered to himself as he stalked the two. "Let's take it slow, but he looks at me and seems to see the things that I'm afraid to show and suddenly I feel so good. So I believe," Sally said, to herself, as she played with her frozen yogurt.

"Because the dark is every where, and it looks like Sally doesn't seem to care that soon the dark, in me, is all that will remain." Matthew made his way to a board walk away from them, but he could still see them. Alfred was now in a small peddle boat, rowing himself in circles. "That there's good in every body's heart, I'll keep that safe and sound. With hope, we can do our part to turn a life around." Sally said as she waved to him.

"The hearts of the people are breaking. It's like they're mind slaves to who ever is the most powerful. There hopes and dreams are shattering apart, by this! They're practically crashing to the ground!" Matthew said as he rested his head in his hands. He straightened, slightly, "I can not believe my eyes. This world, it's filled with lies and filth. But I guess that it's plain to see that the evil inside of me is on the rise…" he lowered his face into his palms and sighed deeply."

Sally was smiling, "I still can't believe my eye, the world's growing a heart, 'cause it seems to me that rapture and harmony is on the rise…"

---

The laud-o-mat wasn't full, but it had business today. People waited for their wash to be down, or they folded laundry because it is done. "I still can't believe that we've been coming here for so long and never spoke." Sally piped up as she placed a newly folded shirt into a basket. "I know, all those months doing this stunningly boring chore." Matthew said as he folded a towel.

Sally giggled, "I'm a fan of laundry." She said with a shrug. Matthew quickly looked to her, "Just kidding, I love it, too!" he said with a smile. "The smell of fabric softener." Sally said as Matthew nodded in agreement. "The feel of warm clothing in your hands." She said as she started to fold a blue tank top. "So good." Matthew said with another smile.

Matthew picked up a white, paper, bag and looked inside it, "Hey, this is weird." Sally looked to him, "I asked for one frozen yogurt and they gave me two." He lied, "You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" Matthew asked as he looked between the two cups. "I love it." Sally said with another smile. Matthew looked towards her, "What a crazy thing to happen. Here." He said as he handed her one. "Thanks!" Sally responded as she took her Spork.

They both took off their lids, "So, how was your weekend? Did you spend the whole time hunting wild signatures?" he asked jokingly. Sally smiled, "I-I actually went on a date…" she said as she shoved a spoon full of the frozen concoction into her mouth. "Get right out of town, how was that?" Matthew said, following suit and eating a spoon full of the yogurt.

Sally blushed, "Unexpected… He's a really nice looking guy and I sort of thought he was cheesy at first. But, he turned out to be totally sweet! … Some times people are just layered like that way, they're different underneath than what on the surface." She said as she stirred her yogurt. "And sometimes there's a third, deeper, layer that's a mirror of the top one." Matthew said in a serious tone as he twirled his Spork in the yogurt. Sally looked up and tilted her head, "Huh?" "Like a pie-are you going to see him again?" Matthew asked getting off the subject of the 'pie'.

Sally bit her lip and looked down at her yogurt, "I-I think I will…" Matthew nodded and chuckled slightly. Sally looked down to his leg and her eyes widened, "Mattie, you-your driving a Spork into your leg!" Matthew looked down to the plastic object going deeper into his flesh with every passing second. He turned back to Sally with a smile, "So I am… Hilarious!"


	6. FAIL!

"All right!"

Matthew said with a nod as he stared dead center into the web camera. "The wait is over! This my friend's is my Freeze-Ray." He said as he motioned to the metal canon looking this behind him, to the left. "Which, with the addition to the Wonderflownium I obtained," he motioned to the case on his right, "from my highly successful heist last week… I say 'successful' as in, I achieved my objective. It was less successful that I accidentally introduced my arch nemeses to the girl of my dreams, and now he's taking her out on dates, and they're probably going to 'French kiss', or something… Called him sweet? How is he sweet?"

Matthew looked away from the camera, "Right! Freeze-Ray!" he turned his attention back to the camera, "So, as of tonight, I am in the Evil League of Evil, if all goes according to plan. Which it will, because I hold a PHD in Horribleness. See you at the after math, peace! … Well, not literally peace…" Matthew blinked a few times and turned off the camera.

**Some time later that same night:**

Matthew was back in front of his camera. His blonde hair was slightly frizzy and a bit matted. He coughed slightly, "Freeze-Ray needs work." He said as his voice, slightly cracked, "I also need to be a bit more carful about what I say on this blog… Apparently the LAPD and Captain Hero are among my watchers… They were waiting for me at the mayor's dedication, at the Memorial Bridge. The Freeze-Ray takes a few seconds to warm up and I wasn't- Captain Hero threw a car at my head…. Not to worry though! 'Cause I'm-" Matthew was cut off as his phone started to ring, "Oh, one sec." he said as he opened his phone and placed it to his ear.

"_Oh, Comrade Matvey~_" came from the other side of the phone and Matthew's eyes instantly widened. "_I saw what you did today, da~. That wasn't very good, neit. I shall give you one more chance, da. All you have to do is kill an innocent person!_" a shiver ran down Matthew's back as he could feel Ivan's smile through the phone, "_Oh, there will be blood and some of it may be yours… Maybe… But, anyway! You do as I say, da? Good, bye~_"

Peter was desperately trying to open a jar, "Kill some one?" he asked as he began to knaw at the lid. "Would you do it, I mean, to get into the Evil League of Evil?" Matthew asked as he played with his gloves, slightly. Peter stopped and sighed, "Look, Doc, I'm Moist. At the most I can make people feel like they want to take a shower." He said as he went back to trying to open the jar.

"Killing isn't elegant, or creative. It's not my style!" Matthew said as he started to pace. "You all ways have enough evil hours; you can make it into the henchmen's League." Peter said as he began to pound on the lid with a look of displeasure, "Pfft, I'm not a henchman. I'm Dr. Horrible; I have a PHD in Horribleness." Matthew said as he crossed his arms.

"Is that the new catch phrase?" Peter asked as he looked up from his work. Matthew looked back over his shoulder to Peter, "I deserve to get in, you know I do. But, killing? Really?" Peter thought for a moment, "Jerk, English Gentleman, says he knows a kid in Iowa that grows up to become President." Peter said with a shrug. Matthew looked to him and stuttered, "I-I'm not going to kill a little kid!" "What about his grandmother?" Matthew's mouth hung open, "Do I even know you?!""


End file.
